What is love? A romantic feeling? A strong hormone cocktail?
Barely another construct plays such an important role in our society. People say you cannot describe but only experience love. Let us try to label it. There are many different forms. We will focus on romance in this country. In simple terms: The superlative of admiration.
All human relationships are based on the principle of giving and receiving.
If you invest time and energy in your romance, you want to expect something in return. It may be in the same currency, children, sexual satisfaction, financial security, or well prepared food. Most important is that reciprocity is in balance. If not, the relationship becomes instable and the romance will break.
The all-purpose tools.
There are two main tools, which professional usage is a make or break for each relationship – especially in a romance.
My personality: First, you want to get to know yourself and your individual tendencies to be able to adjust your behavior situational. If you want to have a great relationship, you need to ask yourself the following questions before mating:
Where do I come from? You should gain clarity about your past. It is a part of you. Uncover your memories. Sit down for an hour and fill out your Life Profile for the country partner. What did you experience? What makes you proud? What are your success stories in each phase in your life? Recap those and pat yourself on the back! You have already achieved a lot! When have you felt contented?
Who am I? Now you want to reflect your past contact with partners. Can you conclude any attributes which represent your behavior in relationships? If yes, which are these? Examples may be leeching on or freedom loving, leading or following, giving or receiving.
Where am I going? What do you want – in life and especially in your romance? Move from a general (your aims in life) to a specific approach (your expectations towards a partner). To this end, you need to take a journey to the country aims in life on the continent self-development now. Completed? If yes, think about how your partner has to be in order to support you in achieving your goals. What are the attitudes attributes and behaviors your partner should engage in?
My Partner: Regardless if you are looking for a partner, just met the person or have been together for many years. Independent of gender and preferences. It is always the same approach: You reflect your own behavior and outline your partner on that basis. The second all-purpose tool will help you to complete your partner image, especially in relation to your expectations and your own behavior. Let us take a look at its elements:
How is my partner? First off, complete the Partner Blueprint. This happens based on the expectation matching (if you are looking for a partner) or status quo matching (if you have a partner) against your aims in life, it is now time to document relevant behavior of your partner which are constructive or destructive for achieving your goals.
How do I behave? After you have documented the undesired behaviors of your partner, you first need to think about why your partner behaves that way. Just put yourself into the others’ shoes.
The initial evaluations above and the derived changes in your attitude and behavior are certainly prerequisites to have better relationships. However, they are by far not sufficient.
In addition, you need to learn how to use the gender specific special tools in a responsible way.
Men are equipped with the following tools which they can use effectively in relationships:
Appearance: Be consequent in your appearance. Always keep your frame. In addition, I recommend you be authentic, self-confident and act with humor. In order to become a true master in these disciplines, you want to travel the countries authenticity, self-confidence, and humor. This is important if your partner tests you (see below).
Push-Pull: Especially if you want to spice your relationship, you need to play push and pull. This means that you are being cheeky and in the next moment kind. Particularly important if your partner tries to persuade you (see below).
Withdrawal: If you are being stuck or you sense your expectations are being ignored, step out of the situation. Just turn your back on your partner and do not take part in the conversation anymore. This is particularly effective when your partner exaggerates (see below).
Women too have special tools, which allow them to actively affect relationships and react on the gender specific behavior of men.
Tests: Evolutionary, it is essential for a woman to test if the man has the self-confidence, which can save her and the children in emergency cases. Hence, test the appearance of your partner (see above).
Persuasion: Women are generally physically weaker than men are. This is not important nowadays anymore. In contrast, we are observing a shift of power. Especially on emotional and related sexual level, men are often attached to women. As a woman, you need to be aware of this fact. Since the feminine energy itself will help you to address your own interests effectively. This can get very exiting if your partner reacts with mixed harsh and kind statements (see above).
Exaggeration: Often women want to feel the masculine energy. Usually, it is represented by self-confidence, calmness, and consequence. Therefore, you
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Falling in love means losing control. Switch of your brain. Get your heart broken. It will heal. Gain experiences. It is all good. Yet many people just let themselves go in a relationship. They neither have aims in life nor individual principles, which they represent in their romance.
“Being in relationships means making concessions. Pursuing my own objectives is egoistic and jeopardizes my romance.” I understand you. You do not want to be perceived as selfish. Just acknowledge the following: It is your right – if not your duty – to define your aims in life. It is legitimate to make them your highest priority. Otherwise, you will not accomplish them. If you do not accomplish them, you will become unhappy. If you become unhappy, your partner will break up with you.
There are gender specific behavioral patterns, which run subconsciously. Like an operating system. Your programming. It is important for you know and spot them if your partner shows them in a dysfunctional way. This allows you to react appropriately.
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